I cheated and he cant get past it. it has been over 2 years but he feels like i am not doing enough to make up for it. I don’t blame him. I need some advice! marriage counseling the only option?
Sounds like you are at least communicating that is a good start.
Self help books on marriage will give a lot of guidance.[See sources]
It took you a long time to get here and it will take just as long to repair the relationship. It takes time to earn trust, but in time it will get better. With most affairs it takes 3-5 years to heal.
June 18th, 2010 at 9:49 am
Marriage Encounter weekends, church seminars, and self-help books. If you cannot afford the marriage counseling, see if your minister will counsel you.
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June 18th, 2010 at 10:33 am
sorry but betrayal is betrayal
give it time, as they say it will tell
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June 18th, 2010 at 10:49 am
1. definitely marriage councelling
2. cater 2 his every need. let him feel n know he’s d only 1 in ur life
3. share his interests. go out often, wit frenz n alone
4.ask him what u can do 2 let him trust u agen, n if its nothing that will compromise what u blv, do it
5.
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June 18th, 2010 at 11:01 am
the only way he will get pass it is if he will have an extra marital experience too. As a mariage counselor with 87% success rate and experiense for 30 years this will work, you can suggest a threesome with another girl if you cant bear the thought of him going solo for a night.
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June 18th, 2010 at 11:38 am
Sex and ego…
Make the sex 10 times better than he can imagine. Do things that will blow his mind. Do things you normally would say no to… ESPECIALLY do more than you did with this other guy.
It’s not just the sex… he has to think you get so aroused by him that another man couldn’t interest you.
Now for his ego… make sure you compare him to other men in a way that makes him look good. It’s the male equivalent to ‘do my thighs look fat in these jeans?’.
How many times did you have sex with the other man… be honest… find a woman to have a 3-some with and do that as many times. Then the tables are 100% even. He got to sleep around just like you. It doesn’t matter if you will be jealous, because you got to sleep around, so it’s his turn. Focus on him while doing it.
Trust me… if he gets a few 3somes, he will thank his lucky stars you cheated! Having two women at once is the best sex a man can ever have.
Bring a woman over for him to have sex with. Set the room up for him and shut them in the room behind you and leave for 3-4 hours.
You got to have sex other than your spouse… if you don’t sanction it… he WILL eventually do the same. The next time a woman offers, he won’t even think twice about banging her brains out.
THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO… do not have sex rules… you won’t be allowed to without starting world war 3.
you are the last person on the earth that can enforce sex rules.
My wife cheated… I was fairly ok until she wanted to play the prude with me. If she EVER fusses about porn or strip clubs… or a glance at a hot woman(nothing to obvious)… or says that wild sex is not ‘proper’… I will bang another woman within the week… if you can cheat… you cannot try to play a prude ever again… ever!
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June 18th, 2010 at 11:45 am
Trust is the hardest to get back but the easiest to lose! Counseling would help but I think he needs to deal with some issues on his own where he can say ALL the reasons he can’t get past it. Cheating’s the worst issue to deal with when you’re a person that wouldn’t for any reason.You not only caused him to look at him as the problem but he doubts how much you honestly love him. I would go to a few sessions of individual counseling (the clergyman of your church is great for counseling if you go)for both of you,then go into marriage counseling together. Understanding yourselves first will help lots to understanding yourselves married.Make any sense?
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June 18th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
If he has really forgiven you he has to let it go and give 100% of him in this relationship.God has forgiven us and he has to forgive you. I know it is really hard when someone cheats but if he made a decision of staying with you he has to let it go.Seek GOD and he will restore your marriage show him that you really care and that you really want things to work out.I believe that christian counseling would be the best. Now if he is unable to let it go that will make things really hard…
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June 18th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Sounds like you are at least communicating that is a good start.
Self help books on marriage will give a lot of guidance.[See sources]
It took you a long time to get here and it will take just as long to repair the relationship. It takes time to earn trust, but in time it will get better. With most affairs it takes 3-5 years to heal.
References :
http://www.MortFertel.com
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com
Marriage fitness, Five languages of love, Relationship rescue, Choosing to love again.
July 9th, 2010 at 12:26 am
what can I say , I agree.
July 13th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Thanks for the info, I will be checking in..good stuff…thanks again.