I don’t necessarily mean a joke or a malicious comment (although you can include those if you wish).
I’m looking for well-meaning advice given by someone who sincerely wanted to help that just turned out to be flat-out wrong.
What made the advice so terrible?
I should have added this, but did you KNOW that it was terrible advice at the time, or did you try it out first?
Curious at the responses here.
Some of the advice seems to contradict others, albeit likely in different circumstances.
And some of the advice, I would give occasionally.
From my best friend on my ex boyfriend.
"If I were you I would bail him out of jail and fight the drug charges, maybe he will change"
WORST advice ever.
July 4th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
"Don’t bother with counseling…just get a divorce".
My wife and I ended up getting a divorce…but because of on-going issues with our son, we started counseling together. We are working out our issues with each other and may get remarried…the whole divorce thing was a waste of time and money.
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July 4th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
My mom always gives bad advice. I rarely call her with marital problems. But like I tell her I get aggravated when I ask my husband to do some thing and he never gets around to it. She will tell me, "Do what I did to your dad. Put NOW on the end of it." My mom was a control freak. She has been divorced twice. She is always volunteering my husband to do things. She says, "Let (husband’s name) do it." I hate that. I don’t want to be a control freak like she was toward my dad.
I don’t like taking advice from divorced people either.
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July 4th, 2010 at 12:51 pm
"Marriage is forever."
That was said when I was married to my abusive ex husband who cheated, drank, wrote hot checks, and not so gently forced me to have sex with him. I wanted to leave him. My mother felt I should stay.
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July 4th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
"Don’t bother with counseling it never work just get a divorce"
This coming from a person that had been married and divorced 3 times. Go figure.
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July 4th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Any time someone has suggested merely spicing up things in the bedroom as a solution to serious problems.
Sex can only go so far. It doesn’t pay the bills, or make the annoying things go away.
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July 4th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
When I asked my ex inlaws if I could marry their daughter and they said yes.
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July 4th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Take care of yourself first.
Sure that’s great, but I notice when I’m more concerned with making my husband happy, he suddenly becomes the same way. So we have two people trying their hardest to make the other one happy. It’s win/win.
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July 4th, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Counseling through a church isn’t going to fix any relationship problems they’ll just tell you it’s a sin to get divorced and tell you to stick it out.
My marriage was way better after the church sponsored counseling. Only after we stopped being involved in anything that had to do with church did our marriage start to suffer again, and ultimately was destroyed.
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July 4th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
"Pray to Jesus"
"We have a support group you can attend."
Both are utterly useless for ‘rubber meets the road’ problems.
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July 4th, 2010 at 4:17 pm
that when you say I do,is when she don’t ,they say women change once they get you on paper ,THEY DO ,no joke the sweetness goes to hell and in it’s place is a person you did not agree to marry.the advice I got was that marriage was a great institution,BULL—-,but I LOVE HER AND I WILL NOT LEAVE HER,I just can’t stand her as-
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July 4th, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Maybe not the worst, but one that really stood out was to my husband. My husband, in talking to some mutual friends referred to me as his geek, a term we both happily embrace. My husband’s boss overheard and couldn’t help sticking his nose in, told my husband that he didn’t think I would appreciate that. The sad part is, at the time, my husband and I worked together, so my husbands boss knew I worked in the geek field.
I actually have a shirt that says "I heart my geek", just so you know how off base this guy was.
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July 4th, 2010 at 4:58 pm
From my best friend on my ex boyfriend.
"If I were you I would bail him out of jail and fight the drug charges, maybe he will change"
WORST advice ever.
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July 4th, 2010 at 5:26 pm
When I discovered I had been cheated on for 4 years, I left. My mother called me and said: Jane, you know many women find the way to be happy in these situations. Think of the house and the financial security you’ll be losing.
I was shocked these words were coming out of my own mom’s mouth. She was basically telling me to trade my pride and happiness for money and comfort.
Of course I did not follow her advice. She raised me to be a strong headed woman, that kind of got in the way of her advice.
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July 4th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
This is a great question!
I didn’t give this advice, but I helped try to clean up the wreckage after it was given. It was to my cousin who was 20 and wondering if she should marry this guy she loved who she’d been dating 6 months and her BFF said to "follow her heart".
Apparently, the drug use, violence and cheating didn’t matter as long as she was following her heart! OMG…it was awful.
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July 4th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
"Marriage is a 50-50 proposition."
Following this advice means you’re only half-trying to get it right, and only half-committed to the relationship.
Marriage is a 100-100 proposition, NOT 50-50.
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July 4th, 2010 at 6:05 pm
she’ll get over the affair so go ahead and have one!
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July 4th, 2010 at 6:29 pm
*If your wife dare strikes you, don’t hesitate to return the favor*
Yep.
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July 4th, 2010 at 6:50 pm
"Problems in the bedroom will be the least of your worries as the years go on."
…15 years later they actually color most of our interactions. It causes resentments, insecurities, sadness, blame and more.
Here’s the truth…
"If you have sex problems now, realize they most likely will never ever change. Make sure you are okay with them before you get married."
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July 4th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
"You need to get a divorce."
Divorce is NOT the answer. It is MUCH better for ALL involved, ESPECIALLY THE CHILDREN, to stay and work it out.
Your children learn primarily by YOUR example. if the two of your don;t know how to "fight right", then your kids won;t learn it either. if YOU get a divorce, then your kids learn that divorce is the way to solve things, and you set THEM up for a lifetime of bad marriages and divorces.
No, divorce is NOT the answer. go to counseling, work out the problems. Learn to "fight right" — learn how to disagree without screaming and yelling and slamming doors and hitting wall (or each other).
And when the fight is over, LET YOUR KIDS SEE YOU KISS AND MAKE UP. Teach your kids that there is ALWAYS a good solution to a bad situation, and that real adults ALWAYS look for and find that solution.
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July 4th, 2010 at 8:08 pm
from mom "hes nothing like your grandfather and I dont like him. You need to get out now."
I almost ended up leaving my husband over her telling me he needed to be more like my grandfather, her dad. Hello, generations change and so do the people. Go figure my mom married a drunk, drug abusing ahole and hasnt been married or had a decent relationship since my dad.
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July 4th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
Worst marriage advice ever- sleep with him before you’re married. Second worst- have a baby within the first 2 years of marriage. Not that I’ve been married. It’s just anyone who did the above two ended up crying later on.
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July 4th, 2010 at 9:08 pm
A marriage advice is itself Worst, cause marriage is like any other relation which is built with time, it cannot be predicted before hand. There is nothing you can do to make it better or worst, if a relationship has to end, it will end and if it has to succeed , it will..!!
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July 4th, 2010 at 9:29 pm
"No matter what, his word is always final".–advice given by my paternal grandfather.
That advice worked so well it ended up getting me beaten to within an inch of my life.
As far as I am concerned, no one’s word is FINAL but God’s.
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